Themes in our Women’s Circle

Each time we meet, the hostess decides about the theme of the meeting and announces it about 10 days before by email to all participants. If someone cannot participate she is asked to write her thoughts down and one of the women will read it during the meeting. The sharing could be recorded so that the absent woman has a chance to listen to all the sharings after the meeting. Then the recording will be deleted.

Time frame: Each woman shares up to 10 minutes and then there are 5 minutes for questions if she is open to questions.

Here are our themes :

WHO ARE YOU – as a female in your journey from being a little girl to being you now?

How did you experience yourself as a little girl?
What kind of teenager were you?
What was your journey being a female so far?
Where you ‘touched’ by feminism?
|How was/is your connection to other women (grandmother, mother, sister, girlfriends)?
What did you learn by having a (or several) partner(s) in your life?
Where do you stand now?

Balance of masculine and feminine within us

Is finding this within you important to you, and if so why?
What do you look/feel like when you are in balance?
And when you are out of balance?
What about the significant men in your life (partners, sons, grandsons etc) – do you think their masculine and feminine is in balance and does this matter – to you, to them?

Explore the fear we all have in really speaking our truth
It is also known as keeping the dark silence, a deep fear of not upsetting the world around us.
How much do you not say what is on your mind?
How much do you play the polite game just to keep the peace. When do you do this and how?
With whom do you do this and why?
What do you see as the risks in really speaking your inner truth, and what do you imagine might happen if you do?
When is an example of you speaking this difficult truth and what were the consequences.

Dealing with change

Do you embrace/ like/ long for change or do you prefer stability?
Or do you possibly avoid change or are you afraid of change?
Is comfort important for you and if so, can you find comfort in change?
How do you deal with major transitions and possibly unbidden changes in your life?
What do you trust, when you are thrown into an unknown, into change?
How to you best face unknowns and regard change as an opportunity?

Experiences with emotional issues manifesting physically in the body

What are your experiences?
What do you think are the causes?
How have you overcome or managed the physical and emotional �.? If you haven’t experienced this, perhaps you may have been part of someone else’s experience. Something to explore!

“Completion Exercise”
1) What we have created in the last year:
In the first section we will take a moment to engage our intuition to look back at what we have created in the last year. This may all be positive, or there may be some negative aspects. Each of us will share for three minutes what we have received.
2) What we are over: We then tune into the things which we have had a gut full and are completely over! Each shares for 3 minutes.
3) What we are going to create now: Now we go into the vision of what we love, what we wish to bring into our lives, let our imagination run wild and receive the vision of what we are going to create from now on. Each shares for 3 minutes.

Weeding our gardens

How do we go about identifying and then removing the unwanted things from our lives. This might relate to your thoughts, your relationships, your physical space, your habits or anything else you think might need weeding.

Self Care and Balance
What does this look like to you?
How do you know when you are in balance? What is not in balance? Where do you need support?
Are you able to prioritise yourself as you juggle work, home and family commitments? Is it easy for you to ask for support?
There are various aspects to self care – my mind immediately thinks about nutrition, but along with the physical body there is the emotional body and the spiritual body all to be balanced alongside work, family and love relationships. How do you do that?

Being ‘on service’ as a female

Please contemplate the difference between
– being of service with full awareness and no regrets or resentment in the future and
– being of service out of habit and conditioning by being female (for thousands of years).
When do you typically are on service out of habit?
How do you feel when you notice that you are habitually being on service because you are female? Does it manifest in your body, and if yes, how?
What kind of service habits would you like to stop and how will you go about it?
Are there any typically female services that you embrace wholeheartedly?
Do you feel supported by family or friends in your efforts towards more equality?
How was your life’s journey as a ‘servicing female’?

Feminism – what’s in a word?

What is your definition of feminism?
Do you describe yourself as a feminist? If so, why do you choose to do this and if not, have a think about your reasons for this. Share an example (or 2 or 3!) when you have stepped into your womanly power? How did it feel then?
And how does it feel in the telling of it now? Share an example (or 2 or 3!) when you believed you compromised your womanly power? How did it feel then? And how does it feel in the telling of it now?
What about other women? Do you believe you have a responsibility to support other women? And, if so, in what ways? What else (if anything) has this topic brought up for you?

Death and dying

What do you believe happens to us when we die?
What has been your experience with death and dying?
What are your hopes and fears around your own death?

Sexual energy

How do we keep our kundalini energy flowing as we journey into the latter and less sexually active (maybe not for some) stage of our lives? Exploration how the continued flow of this important energy is essential for us to journey and transform into the wise and creative women we have the potential to be.

Value

How do issues of values show up in our lives?
How does it impact us?
What triggers feelings of unworthiness, of feeling not valuable?
How can we move towards a healthy, confident, strong, heartful sense of self-worth? How can we support each other?

Shame

The concept of shame has the capacity to completely overwhelm and disempower us. When we are seen by others in a way we don’t want to be seen, in a way that others can pass negative judgement on us. ‘Shame is a painful emotion responding to a sense of failure to attain some ideal state. Shame encompasses the entire self. The thought process in shame involves self-focused attention. The physical expressions of shame include the blushing face, slumbered with head down, eyes averted. It generates a wish to hide, to disappear or even to die.’ (“Psychologytoday.com”). It has a greater hold over us than guilt

• I invite you to reflect on scenarios which have caused you shame in your lifetime.
• Is there a common thread?
• How much power do those circumstances still hold over you?
• What were your responses to the shame?

Projecting blame & anger onto a scapegoat, anger, self-deception, numbing the emotion with alcohol, drugs etc? When has shame served you? e.g allowed you better recognition of social boundaries, self-regulation has been beneficial How have you healed your shame?

Intimacy

Here are two definitions:

(1) closeness, togetherness, affinity, rapport, attachment, familiarity, confidentiality, warm feelings, understanding.
(2) sexual relations, sexual intercourse, sex, intercourse, lovemaking, act of love.

It’s said that intimacy requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity.

How do you feel about this?
Why is intimacy important for you or not important for you?
Sex versus intimacy, or both…. Intimacy with your close friends?
How far are you willing to show yourself?
What kind of safety do you need?
Where do you stop?
Autonomy versus intimacy, or both…

What’s it like being a woman in 2017? 

What gives you joy about being a woman???
What are some of the frustrations?? And the challenges??
Do you think your conditioning as a female helps or hinders you in your interactions in the world – and with yourself?
Do you think the term feminism still matters?
Do you identify as a feminist? If so, why and if not, what is that about for you?

Solitude

What does Solitude mean to you?
Are you comfortable with spending time on your own?
How do you spend your time/s of Solitude?
Does Solitude ever creep into or morph into Loneliness?
Can you, do you recognise the difference?

Social media

What does this mean for you?
How do you use it?
Which of the various platforms do you favour?
How integral is it to your communications for family, friends, community or business?
What don’t you like about it if anything?
What would it mean to you if you lost access to this type of communication?
Or maybe you don’t use social media at all and if not how do you feel about this?
How willing are you to share of yourself?
If you do not use social media then how willing are you to share of yourself with others within the family, your friends, community, the world wide web?

Self-effacement and self-promotion

Here’s a definition:

> self-effacement: the act of making oneself, one’s actions, etc, inconspicuous, esp because of humility or timidity.
> self-promotion: the action of promoting or publicizing oneself or one’s activities, especially in a forceful way. “she’s guilty of criminally bad taste and shameless self-promotion”

How does that balance appear in your life, to your benefit or detriment?
Is it something you are conscious of or is it not so important to you?
How have the cultural influences in your upbringing around this subject been evident?

Male privileges and entitlements

Which situation(s) of ‘male privilege’ or ‘male entitlement’ has affected you in your life?
Where did you encounter these situations? In your family? In your work? With your friends?
How did you deal with a situation of ‘male privilege’ or ‘male entitlement’?
Where you even aware what was happening or did you take it as ‘normal’?
Did you fight it or turn it around? If yes, how? –
Did anyone support you in facing and dealing with the situation?

How do you ‘cultivate’ or ‘plant’ joy in your life?

Is this an important daily self-care, self-nurture, self-replenishing practice or tool you call on, or just when you need an SOS?…or not important at all?
Can you recognise the difference it makes to your inner wellbeing when joy is cultivated?

Here are some thoughts / examples others may use…
Journal writing
Creative writing
Poetry
Art
Craft
Music
Singing
Dancing
Nature
Gardening
Adventure
Walking, swimming, run, yoga, movement
Meditating
Reading
Giving time
Networking
Mothering, family time, grandmothering etc

Sexuality and intimacy

What value you do you put on your sexuality and intimate relationships at this stage of your life?
Do you consciously work on your sexuality and intimate relationships or is it something you don’t give much thought?
Do you stoke the fire, build it up and nurture it.?
Do you purposely extinguish it, or allow it to slowly flicker until naturally, gently, the inner fire just goes out. Or perhaps something else altogether?

Breath

We all do some sort of daily conscious breathwork  – yoga, dance, running, swimming etc.  BUT! do we leave our breath behind when our daily practice has finished?  Do you just forget about the breath and become an unconscious breather?
Do you have an intamate relationship with your breath, is it during love making or out in nature and being witness to a magical sunrise or sunset.  Can you keep that breath with you and connect back into that moment.  Or do you leave it behind?
Are you aware when you hold your breath?
How do you breathe: are you a chest breather? a belly breather? Is your breathing fast and shallow, or is it slow and deep?
How do you breathe when

someone is praising you?

you are enjoying music?

you are having an orgasm?

you are holding a small baby?

How do you breathe when

you are in pain?

you are stuck in traffic?

nothing is going your way?

you are frightened?

Do you have “breathing” memories as a child or teenager?
What is the most profound Breath moment you have had?
Are there situations in your life that trigger you to be more aware of your breath?
Do you immediately react when someone pushes your buttons or can you take a deep breath in to give yourself time to decide if you will bite back or let it go?
Are you aware when you sigh?  Is it a sigh of pleasure or of frustration?

Singing

How often do you sing?
When and where do you sing?
What is your relationship with your voice?  (For example: Do you like the sound of your own singing and speaking voice?
Do you consciously choose singing as a tool / way of cheering and lightening yourself up?

Relationship we have with the Indigenous cultures of the world

What has been your experience with, exposure to, learnings from the indigenous people who live with a way of life (or did) whereby nature is everything?
Nature is the creator, the guide, the map, the whole. Living by the law of nature & relationship that is absolute and inviolate in contrast to our society with man- made law that is changeable.
What are the ways you connect with nature? What land and place do you feel most connected to?

Your strength!

Synonyms: vigor, toughness, power, durability, energy, stability, courage, health, vitality, tenacity, fortitude, firmness, nerve, force, healthiness, steadiness, sturdiness, soundness, might, backbone, substance, potency, stableness, security, hardiness, lustiness, robustness

What are your strengths? Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?
Are you comfortable with your strengths?
When do you show them?
Have you been ridiculed/attacked/insulted because of your strength?
If yes, how does it feel and how do you deal with such situations?
How do you feel when you are complimented on your strength?
How does your partner feel about your strengths?

Intuition

How do you connect with your intuition?
Wiki says Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without proof, evidence, or conscious reasoning, or without understanding how the knowledge was acquired.
Does your intuitive information come from your higher self within or do you feel you connect with information from the other side?
Is it universal knowledge you sense or receive?
Do you sense it energetically, a knowing or do you have a physical response that then translates to thought, do you have visions, audible communication, or another way of sensing?
How much do you trust this guiding process?
Do you see it as a guiding process? Do you share your experiences?

Courage

Definitions:
The ability to do something that frightens one
Strength in the face of pain or grief
Synonyms: bravery, courageousness, pluckiness, valour, fearlessness, intrepidness, nerve, daring, audacity, boldness

What does having courage look like for you?
Do you need courage to ask for what you want?
What are the kinds of situations in which you have needed courage to act?
What are some examples of when you’ve been physically courageous and what are some examples of when you’ve been emotionally and spiritually courageous?
Have there been times when you’ve regretted not taking courage, and what was it that stopped you?
And please add to this anything else you’d like to share with us about courageous you!

The Shadow Side of the Feminine

Where there is light, there is shadow…and where there is shadow, there must be light.

The Sage:
In the light she is…embodied feminine power, wise strategist, disciplined, emotionally objective.
In the Shadow she is…destructively competitive, obsessed with perfection, judgemental and potentially cruel to other women.

The Huntress:

In the light she is…self-sufficient, bold, courageous, adventurous, she embodies action, she makes her life happen.
In the shadow she is…has a need to win at all costs, destructive aggression and rage, struggles with intimacy.

The Mystic:

In the light she is…patient, a wonderful listener, devoted to any task she endeavours, uneasily shaken by life’s travails her presence feels like home.
In the shadow she is…may appear cold, frigid, an unmoved, a prisoner in her own body, unable to escape internal focus, lack assertiveness, be all-thought and no action.

The Queen:

In the light she is…charming, persuasive, diplomatic, soft natural born leader, diffuses arrogance.
In the shadow she is…loses her identity in relationships, compelled to stay in trouble, create abusive situations for the sake of comment.

The Mother:

In the light she is…warm, inviting, authentic,responsible, stable and naturally makes people feel comfortable around them.
In the shadow she is…devastated when relationships end, occupied with fear of abandonment, needs to be needed, tells herself others can’t live without her, manipulative, over-controlling.

The Maiden:

In the light she is…a pure child and wise woman all in one, spend her young adulthood integrating her two natures, open.
In the shadow she is…paralysed by the fear of commitment, lacks direction, susceptible to periods of dark and depression, erratical, rebellious, manipulate, be destructive.

The Lover:

In the light she is…spontaneous, charming, creative expression, full of vitality, comfortable putting her needs first, self-care is her domain.
In the shadow she is…behaves like a drama queen, relies on other for validation, vain, uncommitted, narcissistic, slave to her emotions, drawn to complexed and bad relationships.

Reflections

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves”. Everyone is our mirror. Our own reflection in others shows us not only who we are, but also how to be better. – Carl Jung
Human relationships can be a great mirror for what remains to be resolved in this life. They can be deeply challenging but also very rewarding, if we’re open to the light they shine on our shadows. – David F. Buckland

How does the notion of learning by being conscious of our reflections from our relationships play out in your life?
Is it a tool you use for self/soul development?
Do you spend much time reflecting on this?
Do you have any life examples you would like to share?

Personal boundaries

Definition Wikipedia: Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.

How do you know your boundaries? If you don’t know them can you guess some of them?
What are your boundaries with your beloved, family, friends and at work?
How do you set boundaries with your beloved, family, friends and at work?
How do you know that your boundaries have been crossed? Does it show in your mood (depressed?), your body (exhausted?), in resentment towards someone, anger, or how else?
What do you do when your boundaries have been crossed? Do you swallow the hurt/pain? Do you confront?

Rising consciousness of the human race 

They say we live in a bubble in the Northern Rivers. Do you think this is true and limited to this area alone or can you see the signs of similar bubbles popping up all over the world. If yes, can you see a time when the ripple effect from these bubbles will reach a tipping point for human consciousness where we will have an evolutionary shift and start operating from a collective view point rather than as individuals.

Many cultures have predicted we are moving out of the silver age and into the golden age or similar predictions with different terminology. Can you see us moving out of operating from where we are currently in a material world into a more conscious world? If you listen to the world wide news it certainly doesn’t feel like that.

Do you have an opinion on this?  Can you see, feel or think how this change could possibly happen?
Do you have your own spiritual practise?  If yes, what is your intention with your practice.  If no, have you had a practice in the past and dropped it?
Do you think it is possible, that as collective humans with our thriving egos, we could actually wake up in time before we destroy the entire planet.

Be Bold – “Unleash your adventurous side! Take risks and be daring.

Freya who is the Nordic earth goddess of fertility, celebration and passion: “Don’t play it safe right now.  Instead, take bold action in the direction of your true heart’s desire.  Success comes not from timidity but from committing yourself fully to realising your dream. Hold the clear intention of success and it shall come about.  Enjoy the excitement of taking risks, of being bold, and of being daring.  And be sure to celebrate your success.”

When have you been bold and reaped the rewards of your boldness?
When have you not been bold and then regretted this in hindsight?
And when have you been bold but on reflection feared that you had in fact been foolhardy?  And what do you think the difference is?
Are you currently facing any kind of challenge that would help lead you to ‘your true heart’s desire’.  What’s holding you back from boldly taking this challenge, and what resources could you draw on that would help you go for it?
Is there anything else you’d like to add to Freya’s call for us to be bold?

RITUALS/ROUTINES & HABITUAL BEHAVIOUR

Ritual/Routine: something that you do regularly. Your usual way of doing things, especially when you do them in a fixed order at the same time, exactly the same way. A set of fixed actions and sometimes words performed regularly, especially as part of a ceremony.

Do you have a certain ritual/routine that you love to perform?
Are these rituals/routines done on a daily or weekly basis?
Do you find that you need to change your rituals/routines as they become stagnant?
Do you find that your life flows easier with a ritual/routine.
Are you a free flowing woman who doesn’t need a ritual or routine?

Habitual Behaviour: Habitual behaviour is a form of automatic and routine behaviour. It is behaviour that people repeat, because this behaviour is easy, comfortable or rewarding. Habitual behaviour’s automatically character is demonstrated by the fact that it is often started by a cue or a change in the situation. It is efficient to do something by habit, and not to constantly reason with oneself about what is the best thing to do. The intrinsic advantages of the behaviour outweigh the possible disadvantages. ‘Intrinsic’ because, in the case of habitual behaviour, there is no constant weighing of pros and cons.

We are all creatures of habit.
Is there a habit or habits that you know you have?
Are they a comfort to you or do you find yourself getting frustrated trying to break these habits.
After tuning into this topic do you have a habit/habits that you have now  become aware of?
Is this Habitual Behaviour positive or negative for you and how do these habits reflect upon you and others close to you.

Conflict and confrontation

It’s a subject that causes most people to have butterflies in their stomachs, including me, and wanting to avoid it almost at any cost. Even so, it is an important part in our lives. Here are some definitions and questions:

(1) Conflict – A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one.
There are several types of conflicts; I would like to limit it to two types:
> within oneself
> with someone else

What are typical (lifelong?) conflicts within yourself? What kind of values/beliefs might be the cause for these conflicts? How do you go about your inner conflicts?
What are typical conflicts with someone else?  What kind of value/belief/cultural differences might be the cause for these conflicts? What are your expectations that might cause a conflict with someone? How much does poor communication contribute to these conflicts? How do you handle conflicts?

(2) Confrontation – A hostile or argumentative situation or meeting between opposing parties

What does the word ‘confrontation’ do to you? What kind of conflict with someone is important enough for you that you confront the person? How do you confront? What happens before, during and after a confrontation for you? Physically? Mentally? Emotionally?

Letting Go – Moving Forward

Some quotes:

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.- Tao Te Ching
Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future. – Daphne Rose Kingma
If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down. – Amit Ray
In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. – Deepak Chopra
If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward. – Martin Luther King

Menopause, menarche,
any things menstrual- related of your choosing, your experience, how it has impacted your life and hot tips will be the theme of our next meeting.

Hiding and lying
Where did you hide your boogies as a kid? (To start on a humorous note)
What else did you hide?
Why did you hide stuff, thoughts, emotions?
What were you afraid of? Parents, siblings, teachers…

How do you deal today with hiding? What prevents you to speak up sometimes? Do you use little white lies? And if yes, why?

Food culture
How has culture family and friends influenced your food shopping list and what you bring to the table.
And what celebrations rituals or favourite family outings translate to how you celebrate and honour traditions that are close to your heart.

Manifestations
How have your manifestations affected your life?

Some background from Greek mythology: Cassandra, a Trojan priestess had the gift of foresight and predicted the Greek warriors hiding in the Trojan horse, the death of Mycenaean, king of Agamemnon at the hands of his wife and her lover, and the 10 year wanderings of Odysseus. Yet each of her predictions were ignored because she’d been cursed by the god Apollo because she’d refused to have sex with him!

Do you trust your manifestations, or are you suspicious of such things?
Are you encouraged, or like poor Cassandra discouraged or even disbelieved, by those around you?
Any tips from those of you who are good manifesters for those of us who are not so good at it?

Connection with animals.
What has been your experience in relating to animals? Which animals have you been especially close to? How do you seek out animals?
Has an animal caused you harm? Have you caused an animal harm or killed an animal yourself?

Aging
When was the first time you felt old? Do you fear ageing? What are some of those fears?

If we are aging from birth then really to age is to live – but pyshsical and perhaps mental decline are not for the faint hearted. Just like any stage of life there are losses and gains. How can we be less fearful of the changes life and ageing bring and more curious and trusting of the process of getting older?

Vices
The dictionary suggests that a vice is something of moral failing or a bad habit. Lying and cheating are both forms of vices…But anything can be a vice, as long as someone out there who views it as bad behavior or a moral weakness. You might say, casually, “Chocolate ice cream is my vice.”

Vice comes from Latin, where it has the meaning “in place of, instead of.”

Sugar, coffee, alcohol, other recreational drugs, food, tobacco, gambling, sex, electronic devices, emotional behavior eg anger or manipulation? Etc
Do you have a vice or vices?
What is your vice or vices?
Are you aware of having a vice?
Do you view this as an innocent habit eg daily coffee or do you feel out of control eg sugar hit or bursts of anger?
Is there something your vice/s is compensating for? Is something out of balance?

Setting boundaries
Some info:
Examples of Personal Boundaries
Your Right to Privacy. …
The Ability to Change Your Mind. …
Your Right to Your Own Time. …
The Need to Handle Negative Energy. …
The Freedom to Express Sexual Boundaries. …
The Freedom to Express Spiritual Boundaries. …
The Right to Remain True to Your Principles. …
The Ability to Communicate Physical Needs.